Dear
Manager,
I would just like to take a
moment to thank you for your thoughtfulness, which I was honored enough to receive
from your restaurant only this past week. I must say the service was absolutely
phenomenal; I only had to wait an hour before being asked if I was ready to
look at the menu.
It is important to give some
context as to why I am so shocked to have such great service. I am a traveling
businessman from the great state of New Mexico. Back in New Mexico we have this
horrible habit of getting the menu immediately, ordering in five minutes, and
then eating another ten minutes later. Now that I think about, I can’t believe
that I was able to put up with such disgusting and barbaric behavior back in my
home state. I think I will have to go sit in the corner to punish myself for
all that I have allowed to happen.
The greatness of your restaurant only shined further
after I received my meal. At first I was awfully confused why the waiter gave
me a jar of chunky peanut butter, but then he told me how it would better suit
my “crummy taste buds”. When I asked him about the fact that it was already
half clawed at and eaten, with varying streaks and stains from many human
hands, he gave me an answer that set aside any worry I might’ve had: It adds
more flavor. His logic was so persuasive I nearly decided to devour the entire
jar whole, despite my deathly allergy to peanuts, which as most restaurants
require, I informed my server before placing my order.
I then decided that your
restaurant was far too classy for me, so I left. I clearly could not handle the
level of sophistication that Louisiana has compared to my lackluster state of
New Mexico. In fact I was so ashamed; I didn’t stop driving, not until I was out
of the border of your tremendous state.
Once I was in Texas, I settled
in at a cattle ranch and had a savory steak that was nowhere near comparable to
that divine jar of chunky peanut butter. While eating the melting onions which
were drizzled over the freshly grilled steak, I started crying about missing
out on your glorious restaurant’s food. I
am not worthy of it, I told myself.
I again would like to thank you.
I hope that your restaurant keeps all of it’s standards the same, and doesn't
change them in anyway. Your restaurant
was by far the best one I have been to, ever.
Best Regards,
P.
Wilton
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